Young Adult Dark Urban Fantasy Author ~

Posts tagged “novel creation

Fear

Fear is one of those awful and wonderful things. It can hold you back and hold you down, it can warn you and keep you safe, and it can also set you free.

Fear can paralyze you and keep you from the things you want–the things you need. It can glue your mouth shut when every fiber of your core is dying to speak. It can keep you in situations you should be free from and it can keep your finished manuscript hidden away in a drawer forever.

Facing your fear can also surprise you. It may just give you what you want most. It may just open a door.

My fear has been staring me in the face and it has been winning. Most of us have that little voice talking in our head. What if my manuscript sucks? What if…?

These thoughts have held me back too. It’s a risk. A major risk. But if we don’t take it, then why are we writing? Why are we going to all this trouble? All this time.

We will never know the answer if we’re too afraid to put our work out there, too afraid to let anyone read it. Because, What if it’s good? And you never knew it?

Let’s not thin the playing field. Get your work out there. It’ll be ok.

Advertisements

Define Yourself

Confidence: con·fi·dence

A feeling of assurance, especially of
self-assurance.

The state or quality of being certain.

Believing in yourself is one of the keys to success. Without confidence, self-doubt creeps in and sabotages your work–your life. Fear stops you in your tracks.
We all have our reasons for writing, we all have a story to tell.
Writing is difficult enough regardless of what you have to say, without second guessing everything that comes out of your mouth or all the choices you make.
If you are writing in hopes of being published, do your homework, study your craft and write the best novel, poem, short story, article, you possibly can. If it doesn’t succeed, move on to the next one and then the next. Keep moving forward. Believe in your story, believe in your ability–believe in yourself.
Keep writing.

This is when writing gets tricky

This is when nothing clicks anymore. When your sentences sound awful, your story doesn’t make sense, you can’t think or concentrate. I believe this is writers burn out. This is writers burn out for me.

This is the point when you wonder for the first time if you should ditch it. Dismantle it all. Everything.  And call it a day. This is where I am. I hate to admit it. Admitting it makes it real.

This isn’t writers block. This is something completely different, completely foreign.

My novel is still on my mind, new ideas still come to the surface. Some days I jot them down, other days I push them away.

I’m pretty sure this is why blogs disappear, novels go unfinished, talent goes untapped or unseen. This is when writers walk away.

Walking away isn’t my plan.

But I have been putting too much pressure on myself. Listening to too much noise. I suppose it’s part of the process–these revelations of sorts. I hope.

So, I believe the only solution is to leave it be for a while. Take a few more walks, run a little farther–a little faster and try to regain the passion that put me in front of my laptop screen in the first place.


When you don’t know..

My rewrites are numerous. My ideas…off the chart ridiculous. My scope…? I’m not sure it’s wide enough. And honestly, I’m not sure how to figure it out. I know that sounds stupid. Let me say it this way. I can name any number of my favorite books and point out just where they went right. The reasons the story works and flows. I can name a few other books that all but lose me. Or pick me up and then drop me again. The books that I need more from, more detail, more explanation, more feeling.

I read my book over and over with all the rewrites and editing. Some days, I love it. Other days, I wonder what in the hell? The questioning of my work is what messes me up. Really, I’m fine with that part of the process. The questioning, it’s needed to a point. What I’m not fine with is where to cut it off. When you read your own work so many times, it can feel cluttered and clunky. When I walk away from it for a few days, read it again, I see more hiccups and fix them. Again.

That’s just it. That’s the problem. I could do this same drill for months. I know I could. So when do I leave it the hell alone and know it’s where it needs to be? When I have too many thoughts and ideas at once, my head will likely explode. And I think that’s my issue. Too many ideas. I put my novel down, walk away, come back, read it again and “Hey! I’ve got an idea!” Or worse, “What am I saying??” I don’t know how to turn it off. All this second guessing will likely kill me.


What I Know

I know that writing a good novel, one that is worth reading, can’t be rushed. That sometimes it can take years…and that’s ok. (*sigh*)

I know that the social media surrounding this industry is not what it used to be. And that for a lot of writers, who would rather just write and let the rest fall where it may, it can be difficult to see through the haze.

I know that in spite of that haze, we (I) need to find a comfortable space somewhere within the madness of the social aspect to succeed.

 I know that some days I can’t get my head out of the clouds to save my life and that focus can be a four letter word if you spin it just right.

I know that I LOVE my novel and that I love to write. And those two things should be enough drive to keep me moving forward. (But some days they’re not.)

I know that running will clear my head and help me organize the cluster of randomness that my thoughts often become.

I know that I am following, listening to, and taking advice from, some of the best writers in this industry (published or not). And this only makes me a better writer.

And I know at the end of the day, I need to relax about all of it because I will succeed.

If in doubt from time to time, I highly recommend these writers and their blogs:

Kristen Lamb’s Blog

Lisa Kilian’s Blog

Nathan Bransford’s Blog

Bob Mayer’s Blog

Good day:)


And Away We Go..

First off…As if I do not have enough hair pulling going on with simply trying  write,  I have thrown myself into the twitter bowl. If nothing else, it should be entertaining to watch me crash and burn for a few weeks.

On a positive note, writing picked up steam last night and I was not only able to stomach the first 7 again, but actually made some good edits along the way. I’m on the upside of my carousel ride again…I pray it hangs in for a while.


What’s with the yo-yo?

It’s not just me, I know that. But I swear I’m on some whacked out carousel ride with high lifting horses and low riding carriages that keeps going in circles and will not let me off.

These last few weeks have been awful. Writing wise. I lost my thread, my focus, my concentration, my mind and it’s taking everything I have to get it all back–to make myself finish my final draft.

How many times do you have to hear your favorite song before you hate it? You know the one. That great song. The song that gets replayed so many times you could scream. I’m there. I will throw up if I read my first 7 chapters again.

How in the hell do people write the same novel for… years? I’m guessing at some point they say, well it’s a good as it gets, I can’t look at this anymore.

So…I started reading backwards. You know, from the last paragraph forward. Edit one and move up. So far, it’s working. I’m kind of afraid to say that out loud in fear of jinxing myself. But there seems to be some type of odd symmetry happening. My brain isn’t hearing the same story I’ve gone over more times than I can count. It is seeing and hearing mistakes more clearly though and at this point, I think, editing more productively. So if you are in this most trying place with your writing, give the backward edit a try. Hell, maybe writing from the end could work too.


You are what you write…sort of.

In the earliest stages of my novel–when it was only a stream of ideas, my POV took hold. It wasn’t something I thought about at the time. But I think about it now and why it came so naturally. I wonder how much of me was my protagonist in the beginning. As the story moved and continued to unfold,  the characters became a far cry from where they started–who they were, when I started. The personas, voices, thoughts and feelings are distinctly their own now. They are no longer the people I began with and I love that.

I realize that there is a part of me in everything I write. A part of every author is weaved into their landscape, their characters, their stories. In some way, no matter how small, we are what we write. The choices we make, the angles we take, the voices we use–they are all part of who we are. Knowingly or not.

When we write, we create the world, the rules, the behavior and the actions. It is at our command. The possibilities are endless. The ability to change and evolve. The choice to stay the same. But I believe our characters at some point, take over. They have to. They lead us the rest of the way through the journey and to the end. And in that evolution, the real story comes out.

The best idea in the world rarely ends where a writer thinks it will without total manipulation of the characters. Unless we allow them to speak on their own, we can never know the true story. At some point we need to relinquish part of the control and allow ourselves to be led rather than to lead.


This isn’t a rush job

(By Shannon9791 via Photobucket)

This is my new mantra. “This isn’t a rush job!” Only I try to say it calmly.

Do you have those days when you wonder if you should scrap it and walk away–or at least toward another project? But then you read a quote or an excerpt and you remember the reason you’re doing this in the first place?  Me too.

There is this blind sort of faith that goes along with writing and finishing a novel. A faith you’re putting into the void in hopes that it will return the favor. As much as my mind seems to have taken a hiatus from any useful thoughts in relation to my (should already be finished) novel, I know I’ll never walk away from it. So in that light, I am attempting to acquire a new look on my writing. Slow and steady wins the race and all that.

In the end, what matters is that I don’t walk away, that I do stay focused (even when it seems impossible–even when that means taking a break) and that I don’t rush it. The ups and downs and backs and forths are tiring. And although I have been going back and forth for a year now with this process, somehow it feels more overwhelming than it ever has. I’m trying to convince myself it’s because this is the Final Draft and therefore, MUST be right. Either way, it isn’t a rush job and like I’ve said before, I’d rather be slow and right, than fast and wrong. So…I’ll be taking a break.


When it’s not writers block or inspiration lack..

…When it’s not procrastination. What the hell is it?

 It’s something–something I can’t put my finger on. Maybe it’s a break. Maybe I need one. Maybe that’s all it is. I literally can not focus. For days, I can’t. Maybe its burn out. Maybe working on something else for a while would help. Suggestions?  Been here before?